Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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