: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
