she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
