I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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