I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am midnight drunk by noon
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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