Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
