barbara walters just said penis...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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