My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
