I hate all girls vehemently.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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