come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
