I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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