why didn't you poke me back
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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