sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
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I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
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Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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