I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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