the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
