You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
