Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
