Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
is this the sara with the beer cane?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
