i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
