hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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