it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
