You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
