I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We are two peas in an std pod
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize