i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
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We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
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if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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