So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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