My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
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Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
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Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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