Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
