Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch

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  (318): That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch http://tfl.nu/faw2
  Replies (4) Good night (1245) Bad night (518)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...

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  (239): I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby... http://tfl.nu/v25y
  Replies (12) Good night (706) Bad night (2742)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??

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  (919): Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ?? http://tfl.nu/0nsh
  Replies (54) Good night (1309) Bad night (4652)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.

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  (203): I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails. http://tfl.nu/h0ov
  Replies (37) Good night (1330) Bad night (4775)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city

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  (407): I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city http://tfl.nu/5mtu
  Replies (32) Good night (6076) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?

  (1-906): View more from Michigan

  It's okay.

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  (906): Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay? (1-906): It's okay. http://tfl.nu/i6me
  Replies (9) Good night (1231) Bad night (4059)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.

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  (262): He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too. http://tfl.nu/5j5p
  Replies (19) Good night (1525) Bad night (2887)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka

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  (617): They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka http://tfl.nu/47bx
  Replies (4) Good night (4598) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?

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  (865): What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"? http://tfl.nu/h7i9
  Replies (11) Good night (2327) Bad night (1726)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..

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  (501): Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him.. http://tfl.nu/3vco
  Replies (7) Good night (1579) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.

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  (773): Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app. http://tfl.nu/h2ht
  Replies (1) Good night (1145) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid

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  (615): I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid http://tfl.nu/n6y8
  Replies (2) Good night (547) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip

  (858): View more from California

  It's the little things

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  (858): Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip (858): It's the little things http://tfl.nu/9b0s
  Replies (0) Good night (362) Bad night (153)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club

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  (402): Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club http://tfl.nu/zpvq
  Replies (1) Good night (185) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt

  (1-650): View more from California

  Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here

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  (650): Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt (1-650): Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here http://tfl.nu/56ff
  Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (161)

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