Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I wish there were birth control emojis
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising