dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.