He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order