Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing

  (719): View more from Colorado

  The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner

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  (303): Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing (719): The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors? (303 ): Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner http://tfl.nu/juf5
  Replies (13) Good night (2605) Bad night (780)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?

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  (603): could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt? (1-603): you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call? http://tfl.nu/6h21
  Replies (13) Good night (1118) Bad night (2961)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!

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  (813): why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?! http://tfl.nu/lcio
  Replies (26) Good night (855) Bad night (2286)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing

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  (845): I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing http://tfl.nu/4411
  Replies (24) Good night (5391) Bad night (1273)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.

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  (+44): swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself. http://tfl.nu/6r98
  Replies (27) Good night (11365) Bad night (1531)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.

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  (248): Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it. http://tfl.nu/bw3w
  Replies (9) Good night (3636) Bad night (1322)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos

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  (516): I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos http://tfl.nu/9ruo
  Replies (9) Good night (2724) Bad night (931)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.

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  (254): You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever. http://tfl.nu/wqqf
  Replies (3) Good night (2259) Bad night (947)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.

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  (817): I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be. http://tfl.nu/oevd
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (947)
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  (714): View more from California

  It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.

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  (714): It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs. http://tfl.nu/jalq
  Replies (11) Good night (493) Bad night (1943)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that

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  (954): The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that http://tfl.nu/l3dv
  Replies (9) Good night (930) Bad night (551)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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  (651): Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD? http://tfl.nu/tnlb
  Replies (7) Good night (1588) Bad night (364)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.

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  (773): I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move. http://tfl.nu/qg2k
  Replies (6) Good night (937) Bad night (279)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away

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  (541): There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away http://tfl.nu/55q1
  Replies (1) Good night (501) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.

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  (330): Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now. http://tfl.nu/qkkr
  Replies (4) Good night (347) Bad night (798)

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