we made out on top of his cat.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
she pinky promised me she was 18
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.