I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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