Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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