I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i just had sex bonerless
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize