i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
