did you get engaged???
your thong is hanging out like whoa
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
