Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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