the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
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Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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