Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
