when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
i need some magic done to my vagina
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
