i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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