If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
