So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
