HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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