My friends, they love my intelligence
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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