So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
