Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
