I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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