So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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