There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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