its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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