Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
