A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
