if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize