My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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