We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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