you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
