she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
