a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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