okay pat passed out under dana's car
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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