i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
